Tuesday, October 28, 2008

'Smart Irishman' is an Oxymoron

OK!!!!! Enough!!!!!!

Most of you are aware that there is a relationship, of sorts, between 'Pennies Worth' and 'Dating Tips Psychopath'. I've stayed above the fray; jotting my words, telling my stories, and generally ignoring my classless roommate.

He wrote about using the dishwasher to wash his underwear

He wrote blonde jokes

He wrote about giving my dog Viagra

He wrote about giving ones significant other funny underwear

I let it all slide. I let him have his fun. BUT now he's going for the blonde jokes again! HE LIVES WITH A BLONDE!

One too many blonde jokes and "revenge is mine" says the blonde.

Did he tell you about the time the doctor asked him if his MS was interferring with his sex life? "I don't know doctor. Should I be having sex more then once a day?" he replied.

The doctor took that as one of the 'psychopath's'' glib answers; a man too embarassed to talk about his performance. When he got home from that appointment he handed me a bottle of pills and said, "The doctor recommended I try this." "Are you sure you want to try this?" I asked. "It's Viagra!"

Viagra..................I could smell the wires in his brain burning as he was calculating his chances of talking me into one of those 'all night love fests' of our youth.

That night he whispered in my ear, stroked my hair, kissed me on the nape of my neck, and told me to put on my sexiest nightgown. He grabbed his little bottle of pills and went into the bathroom. The next thing I heard was *&^%$#(*&^. He sheepishly came out of the bathroon to tell me he had taken the lid off the bottle, tripped on the bathroom rug and spilled all the pills in the toilet. He had to stand there and watch the Viagra melt along with his plans...... Later that night I woke up to find him sitting in a chair with his chin propped in his hand. When I asked him what he was thinking about at that late hour he answered, "I was just wondering if I had the courage to go drink some of that toilet water!"

Talk about Dumb Blondes?.........WHAT ABOUT AGING IRISHMEN?

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