Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Pieces of a Family Quilt

I took a very big chance and opened a door of almost paralyzing fear. The outpouring of understanding, love and strength that you have showered on me has pulled me back from the edge of an abyss. You have no idea how much I appreciate what you have given me. It’s phenomenal that people that I have never met have stepped up and offered me their prayers, powers of positive thought, and outright assurances that this too shall pass and I will be safe and SANE? when it is all over. And I must add, in much better health. What a wonderful community this is. THANK YOU!

The weather has been so beautiful. It is almost Spring like. The sun is warm, the sky is filled with fluffy clouds, and the air feels lovely on the skin. We have a slopping roof that shades our kitchen door. It sits between the top of the door and the larger roof. There is a little finch that has decided that way in the back of that slopping roof is an ideal place to build a nest. The weather is so lovely that I have been spending some quiet time watching her fly back and forth with her building material in her beak. She works very hard getting things just right for the family that she will raise there. We have dozens of large, green trees in the back yard, which would seem a more appropriate place for a nest, but she has her reasons for choosing the slopping roof. There is only one little problem ... people come and go from the kitchen door all day long. And every time someone approaches she interrupts her work to let them know that they have not been invited to walk beneath her nest building activity. I love listening to her chatter, but I can totally sympathize with how hard it is to build a home when there are unwanted stresses. I am trying to convince the family that they should use the front door more often. But they are not much impressed by my imagery of a little bird giving them the bird.

The hospital where I will have my surgery is approximately 20 miles from our home. It involves a drive on the freeway to get there. My friend Scott has been accompanying me on the many drives back and forth getting all of the pre-op procedures taken care of. John is content to stay home and listen to his talking heads and pols pontificate on the state-of-the-union and baby-sit my beagle. My dog hates it when I have to leave without him. He considers it his duty and right to be with me at all times, and if things don’t evolve just right he will sit and howl until I return. So while Scot baby-sits me, John baby-sits the beagle. Not that that stops all heartbreak and beagle howling, after all, I often end up howling when I’m left alone with John too. But it is the best arrangement that we have come up with so far.

Scott and I made a wonderful discovery on our last 20 mile trip. Within walking distance of the hospital we discovered a Farmer’s Market. We had so much fun going from stand to stand smelling and touching the fresh fruit and vegetables. I came home with bags of my favorite foods. Vegetables and fresh fruit! I love them. We found a cabbage so large that we were able to cut it in half and still have more then if we had each bought one of our own. I found fresh nectarines for John, which he instantly hid from every one else. But that was alright I had two big bags of the sweetest oranges that I have ever eaten. And scones, and honey, and fresh spinach.

Usually when my dog hears my car pull into the driveway he runs outside and sits by my car door with his head in the air and his hind quarters plopped toward me. It’s his way of telling me that he loves me, but I have violated his trust in my judgment. The minute I scratch an ear and tell him how sorry I am for leaving him all alone with John he will forgive me and jump in my lap. Last Tuesday he ran to the car and jumped into my lap almost before I could get the door open. I had discovered a booth that sold specially made liver and chicken doggie treats. Isn’t it odd how a male will bestow instant forgiveness if you buy em a treat.

Next Tuesday I have to go for my pre-op physical. What do you want to bet that I stop at the Farmer’s Market before I come home. I might even buy something for John.

I gave my son a food steamer for his birthday. I was a bit worried whether he wanted one, but I knew that I REALLY wanted one. So I bought it for him. He was so excited! He must have told me half a dozen times that it is the greatest gift that he has ever gotten. It is for me too. I haven’t had to do much cooking since he opened the box it came in.

He has steamed us meals of fish. beef, vegetables, rice and/or a combination of any or all almostevery night since his birthday. The food is great and I don’t have to do much of anything. He is so possessive and protective of that steamer that I wouldn’t dare touch it. I’m a caring mother, I respect the fact that it belongs to him. Consequently, I let him do all the cooking! I haven’t enjoyed dinnertime so much in years.

My son bought me a new recliner for Christmas. It has been a wonder. All the swelling in the leg most plagued by the polio has disappeared. My feet look like feet again. There is a big backlash though. I don’t own a pair of shoes that will stay on my feet. I look like a child wearing mommy’s too big shoes when I try to stand up, or like John trying to walk in slip-on’s. So I knit myself a pair of bootie socks. They are so comfortable and warm. Hey, I’m in a wheelchair! I can get away with wearing booties.

And I’ve had at least a dozen women ask if I made them myself. Maybe I could start a bootie business.

“Say Good Night Pennie"

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