CATASTROPHE

This is John.

Owing to an unforeseen household mishap, Pennie is currently hospitalized.

Late Saturday afternoon while I was in the bathtub and her son, Dave was taking a nap ... Pennie attempted to negotiate a flight of stairs on her own. The results. I’m sad to report, were catastrophic.

She dramatically tumbled down the stairs and landed with a resounding thud on the sunroom floor.

Not only that, but her wheelchair landed on top of her.

Christ on a Kaiser roll!

The poor woman was splayed out graphically like a porno star ... and a bruise about the size of a silver dollar immediately developed on the shin of her right leg.

Within minutes, however, the welt had grown and Pennie found herself in excruciating pain.

So she was unceremoniously hustled to the Emergency Room.

By the time the Medicos attended to her, the swelling had grown from her knee to her ankle and Pen was screaming ... demanding that they amputate the leg.

It was a very sizable and painful blood clot, it turned out.

They filled Pennie with morphine, shot her leg up with lidocaine, made a surgical incision on her shin and pierced the clot with a pair of scissors.

The results were definitely not for the squeamish. Blood was soon shooting out all over the joint, in projectile gushes, splattering the walls and floors.

“Twenty five years of medical practice and I’ve never seen anything like this,” exclaimed the E.R. doctor at one point.

Pen lost so much blood, it turned out, that she will remain in the hospital for another day or two.

P.S. She is now resting comfortably ... which is more than I can say for the dog and me.

We need her back ... like pronto.