Tuesday, October 28, 2008


OMG!!!! Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor. My doctor is a lovely, understanding, compassionate, and humorous woman. If I met her socially I'd tell everyone what an exceptional person she was. But she's a DOCTOR!!!!! She knows that the white coats that doctors wear sends me into a private hell of memories and fears, so she takes hers off before she enters my line of sight. She knows that I love words and love spilling words everywhere, but when I am in her office I become a jibbering idiot that can't remember how to string enough words together to form a complete sentence. She knows that I gag at the smell of hospitals and a doctors office can remind me that hospitals exist so I am constantly on the verge of barfing all over her immaculate white floor. She knows that no matter what my blood pressure was when I left home it will be raging all over the place the minute I enter her office. She knows that I always wait a bit too late to go see her hoping that the fates will take care of the problem; therefore inhibiting her efforts to heal. She knows that the minute I enter her office I am working on ways to escape. She knows that I hate everything medical including pharmacies because they mean a doctor has been visited. She knows that I would love to hate her but I can't because she is a lovely human being, but OMG SHE'S A DOCTOR!!!!!!!

She knows so much about me. That should be comforting ................... BUT SHE'S A DOCTOR, and that seems to be all I am capable of knowing about her.

All this gut wrenching trauma and all I have to do tomorrow is get my prescriptions renewed. You should hear me when I'm really sick!

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