Tuesday, October 28, 2008

An Old Dog, A New Car, and Me

THE OLD DOG. I went to the animal shelter to find a small lap dog. I often am awakened in the wee hours of the morning with the pain jumping around like a ball on a tennis court. If I'm not careful those wee hour jimmies that I used to grapple with in my youth can be found waiting to grab a piece of me. So, I turn on the TV and watch old black and white movies. I thought a little lap dog would be comforting at those lonely hours, and besides if I wanted to feel sorry for myself a dog wasn't going to tell me to shut up. There was only one little lap dog at the shelter and a lonely looking woman was standing in front of it with tears in her eyes. When I asked her if I could help she told me that her husband had recently died and she thought that the little dog might help her deal with the lonliness. So much for my search for a little lap dog. A young man that worked for the shelter came over to help the lady in a wheelchair and decided that his good deed of the day was to make certain that I didn't leave without a dog. He must have introduced me to a dozen dogs, all too large for my living space. And then he brought me a Beagle. His face was half white and half gold. He was really too big to be put on my lap, but that is where the young man put him. Mr Beagle assumed a position of indifference He kept his head held high and his nose in the air. He refused to turn and look at me but his eyes were peeking out of the side of the sockets. I was told that he was slated to be put down the next day if someone didn't take him home. So he and I sat there staring at each other; neither one of us moving. I could see scars on his lovely body where he had been badly abused. The more he starred at me, out of the corner of his eyes, without moving a muscle on that lovely body the more I fell in love. So my lap dog became a medium sized Beagle.

THE NEW CAR. I needed a new car. It had to be a car that would accommodate the wheelchair. It had to have enough room for my beloved Beagle to ride comfortably. It had to be low enough for me to be able to slide into. It had to have pedals that were just right because I use them with the leg most damaged by the polio. Lots of 'had to be's'! It took a while but I found a car that hadall the had to be's and was as sporty looking as something with had to be's could hope to be. I fell in love with it the minute I took if for a test drive. So I laid down my money and drove off the lot with a brand new Saturn Vue.

ME. I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the fact that the Saturn Vue was a new edition to the Saturn line. All I knew was it was bright red, it rode like a dream, it met my had to be's, and I loved it. What I did notice was that I seemed to be the only Saturn Vue on the road in my area. That was kind of nice. It's fun to have a one of a kind, once in a while. Then something unexpected happened. Everywhere I parked my bright red car men seemed to materialize. Men gravitated to the car like bees to honey. "Hi, my name is blah, blah and I love your car. Do you care if I stand and talk to you for a bit?" I was asked over and over again. I met more men than I had met when I was out there looking for men to meet. Men were everywhere! Very seldom did a woman approach me..............just men, EVERYWHERE! Now, I never go any place without the bossy Beagle. He's a very bright dog. He knows what's right and what's wrong without being told. This influx of unknown men just wasn't right. So he decided to take the matter under consideration. When he sensed that yet another man was going to approach 'our' new car he would immediaely jump on my lap and stick his head out of the car window and demand an explanation. If the man said, "Aw come on all I want to do is talk about the car" he was allowed to approach and talk as long as he wanted. If the man said, "Sorry" and kept going, then, good riddance. Obviously his intentions weren't what they should have been in the first place. John says the men saw a sexy blonde sitting behind the wheel of a sexy red car and couldn't help themselves. (Nice Compliment! John can say things like that when he is trying to justiy his actions.) John says the Bossy Beagle has become my chasity belt. He says he got tired of coming out of the store and finding men hanging all over me and the car and he and the Beagle had a talk about preventative actions. John may be telling the truth here. The Beagle is a male too!

What's interesting is I had very few women come up to talk about the car. But now that the car has become known and I see it all over the city I have NEVER seen a man behind the wheel; it's always a woman. Perplexing Maybe the word has gotten out about the Saturn Vue and it's man attracting power.

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